Chica vs Wolverine
by Dizzy Hwin
Summary: A war is brewing........ and it's between Logan and Jubilee! *Chapter 7 now up!!*
1. Jubilee's Torture

Disclaimer: The X-men aren't mine, I'm just playing with them!  
  
  
  
  
  
Jubilee was bored. She had been sitting inside all day watching reruns of 'The best of Jerry Springer' and after chanting 'Jerry' for the fifth time, it was getting dull. Just as midget number #1 picked up his chair and swung it at his new male wife, Logan strolled into the room, grabbed the remote and the screen was filled with two guys beating each other up with their hockey sticks.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jubilee screamed, forgetting momentarily just who she was talking to. "I was watching that and you've got your own T.V!" Logan sat down on the couch and she flinched as he released a claw in front of her face.  
  
"T.V's broke." Logan said flatly, his eyes focused on the screen. "Now run along so I won't 'accidentally' break someone else." A smile played on Logan lips as he gently turned his glittering claws in front of her. Swearing under her breathe, Jubilee pushed past his claw and stalked out of the room.  
  
All of the younger students had gone on camp with Scott and Jean to somewhere in the middle of no-where. And since Ororo and the Professor were away at a conference, the poor seniors were left with Logan looking after them for the next week. Today, most had decided to go to the danger room to training, but as she couldn't be bothered today, Jubilee stayed glued to the T.V. Angry as hell, Jubilee walked down the halls towards the danger room entrance. Stopping beside the med lab, her curiosity got the better of her and she decided to look inside. Pushing the heavy metal doors aside, she crept inside the dark room.  
  
Flicking on the lights, she blinking as the light reflected of the metallic walls. Jubilee explored the shelves, each one covered with boxes and labeled jars. Running her finger along the labels, Jubilee looked over to the medical examination tables. Two of the tables sat in the centre of the room. Walking over to them, Jubilee noticed the second table. Pulling back the white sheet that lay half-covering the table, Jubilee stared at it. The bright silver restraints and chains wrapped around the thick, bend metal table. They were made from pure adamantium. Continuing to stare at the table, a small 'ting' sound was heard as a idea clicked inside the small brain cells referred to as her brain. Carefully unbuckling the heavy chains and restraints from the table, Jubilee pushed the metal door's open with sharp kick and half-carried, half-dragged the metal out the medical room and down the empty hall.  
  
Scott pulled up to the mansion later that afternoon. One of the younger student had become sick and Scott was forced to bring him home to recover. Opening up the back door of the Jeep, Scott helped the pale faced junior to his feet. Half carrying him, Scott lead the student to the front door and pushed it open. As they stepped inside, A echoing howl of pain was heard throughtout the halls. "Logans in trouble" he thought to himself. Telling the sickly student to sit outside and stay, Scott slipped on his emergency visor and proceeded down the empty halls. As the howls of pain grew louder and louder, Scott found himself outside the students recreation room. Blasting open the door, he reeled back in surprise.  
  
Logan stood forcibly attached to the upright medical table, his arms wrapped around his body using the adamantium restraints. His eyes were taped open and mouth gagged by a dirty gym sock as he stared wimpering at the T.V screen a few feet in front of him. Bright pink earphones were taped to his ears. Behind him, Jubilee stood unaware of Scott's presence, her arms crossed and a smug smile plastered across her face. When Scott turned on the lights, Jubilee ducked behind the couch and Logan's eyes stared pleadingly at him. Walking up to Jubilee, Scott grabbed her arm and pulled him to her feet. "In about thirty seconds, I'm going to release him" Scott said, pointing at restrainted Logan. Jubilee's eyes widened in shock and she struggled against his grasp. Scott pulled her closer. "You have two options. Run and hide....." he paused "Or you can go down to the medical room and lock the door. You will be punished either way but one will be less painful." Letting her go, Jubilee ran from the room, slipping slightly as she turned, running at full speed in the direction of the lab. Scott walked over to Logan and released the screws holding the restraints to the metal medic table. Free of his arm restrains, Logan ripped the earsphones from his ears and turned off the T.V as Scott release his legs. Pushing free of the metal table, Logan ran to the door, paused and looked back at the bewilded Scott. "If you tell anyone about this," Logan said, growling. "I promise I'll kill you." And with that, he let out a loud roar and took off for the medical lab. Opening the curtains, Scott surveyed the area around him. The middle couch had been turned over and the tables were pushed out of the way. Pushing the table back onto the wheels, Scott pushed it towards the door. Stopping out in the hall, Scott paused for a moment, his lips widening into a smile. Checking the hall to see if anyone was looking, Scott snuck back into the room. Grabbing the earphones, Scott turned on the T.V and collasped in a fit of laughter.  
  
  
  
Logan sat hunched over his soup in the noisy cafeteria. Jubilee had decided to go visit some friends out of town to give him a chance to 'calm down'. "That's bullshit." he mumbled to himself, taking a swig of his open beer. Looking up, Logan grabbed his tray to leave as Scott walked up to the table. Placing his tray on the table, Scott smirked at the disgruntled Logan as he stood up and turned to leave. Walking away, Logan growled in anger as he heard a voice humming the first few chords from the video. "Shuttup!" he screamed at Scott as he dropped his tray and spun to look at the grinning Scott. The room turned silent as Scott opened his mouth and slowly began to sing in a low bartone voice. "The hills are alive with the sound of muuusic!"  
  
In a blink of an eye, Logan moved behind Scott and grasped his neck firmly from behind. Bending over, Logan whispered into Scott's left ear. "I'd kill you right now if there weren't so many witnesses" Releasing him, Logan stepped back and sent a evil look around the room. Students quickly turned back to their meals, most pretending to be interested with a spot on the table. Stalking out of the room, Logan pushed past Jean as she entered the room.  
  
Bewildered, Jean sat down on the table next to Scott, his silly grin still plastered across his face. "What was that all about?" she asked curiously. Sending a mental picture to Jean, the two of them exploded into laughter. Holding her sides, Jean gasped at Scott in between fits of laughter. "So *gasp* he was *giggle* scared of *giggle* The Sound of Music?" Scott kept laughing, only able to nod his head up and down as the two of them struggled to stop laughing.  
  
Rogue sat on the other side of the room, carefully watching the drama unfold. Taking out her cellphone, she quickly texted a message to Jubilee's phone.  
  
**Congrats Jubi! Scott found out and ****Logans**** soo pissed off! Great prank, good luck planning your next. Rogue!**


	2. Logans Revenge

Disclaimer: Not my characters, I just playing with them! *points her pen at Logan and makes him dance the funky chicken* hehe!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Logan walked the hallways of the mansion, a frown of concentration across his face as he searched for Jubilee's scent. Jubilee had arrived back the day before and Logan had been searching for her, waiting until she was alone. Then he was going to give her the good old-fashion revenge that she deserved. Snarling at a group of students, he pushed past them as a brave few began reditions of Sound of Music. Jubi's is really gonna pay for this, he thought to himself.  
  
Jubilee walked down the hallways of the school in her favorite bright yellow jacket, her head up high. Students left and right congratulated her and patted her on the back. She had taken down the one-and-only Logan the Wolverine and lived to tell the tale. And the only punishment was that she had to help clean the medical lab for a month. She felt on top of the world. Whistling the Sound of Music to herself, she walked into the noisy rec room. Grabbing a soda, Jubilee sat down on the couch next to Rogue and concentrated on the T.V screen in front of her.  
  
Logan walked into the rec room and grabbed a beer from the teachers fridge. Taking in a sniff, Logan recognized the sweet aroma of Jubilee's perfume. Spinning around, he pushed through a group of students towards the source of the smell.  
  
Jubilee felt a shiver run up her spine as the room turned dead silent. Turning around in her seat, she looked up at the smiling Logan. "Oh Shit!" she said quietly to herself. Nodding his head, Logan grabbing her yellow jacket and lifted her off her seat. "I need to speak to you. Outside." Logan said calmly. Pulled by Logans grip, Jubilee started towards the door, trying desperately to struggle loose. Grabbing onto the doorframe as she was pushed through it, Jubilee managed to squeak a message to the frozen Rogue. "HELP!"  
  
Rogue pushed past the gathering crowd on the basketball court. Hanging from the basketball hoop by her favorite jacket and covered with dog shit, Jubilee screamed at the crowd, begging for someone to get a ladder. Struggling to take off her yellow restraint, a loud ripping sound was heard and Jubilee dropped towards the ground. Caught by Bobby, she pushed against his grip and he dropped her onto the asphalt court. Standing up quickly, she straightened her clothes, and walked calmly as she could through the crowd of laughing students. As the crowd got bored and left, Rogue grabbing the abandoned yellow jacket and ran to catch up with Jubilee.  
  
Slowing up beside her, Rogue passed Jubilee the ripped jacket. Stopping, Jubilee looked at the destroyed jacket. Looking up at Rogue, Jubilee's face turned red in anger. "I was willing to let it go when he strung me up to the basketball hoop. But no one, and not even God himself, gets away with this" she said angrily as she waved the yellow remains of the Jacket. Jubilee spun around and started walking back towards the school. Rogue stood frozen to the spot and called to the red face Jubilee. "But what does that mean?" Jubilee turned her head, an evil smile played across her lips. "This chica, means WAR!" she yelled as she strolled back to the mansion.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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More to come! But only if you press that little purple button below. You no, the one saying "submit review". Go on, you know you want to!!! 


	3. Wax and Explosives

Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just playing with them!  
  
  
  
  
  
Rogue lay on her bad watching Jubilee, as she walked back and forwards in front of her, a frown of deep concentration on her face. Stopping suddenly, Jubilee turned and looked at Rogue, a evil smile spread across her face.  
  
"You know Wolvie-boy's schedule, don't you?" a evil smile spread across her face. Rogue held up her hands and shook her head. "I'm not caught up in your personal war with Logan. Uh uh, no way" "Come on, I know you know Rogue." She pleaded. She gazed into Rogue's eyes, putting on her best puppy dog face.  
  
Rogue sighed. "All I'm going to tell you is that on Saturdays, he likes to go for a workout in the danger room at 10am" She said, resignation in her voice. Jubilee began dancing round the room, a look of triumph on her face. Stopping she stared at the calender on the wall beside her. FRIDAY 15TH.  
  
"O shit." Jubilee swore at the calender. "I got..." looking at her watch. "14 hours?" Rushing over to her bed, she pulled a small white board out from underneath it and grabbed at the pen. Standing up, Rogue grabbed her pillow and made for the door. "If you're doing an all-nighter, I'm sleeping in the spare bed in Kitty's room." she said as she opened the door and left, leaving the manic Jubilee to her evil plans.  
  
  
  
Logan walked down the hallways towards the danger room. It was exaculty 9.58am and he felt the need for a good workout. Passing a group of students, his usual scorn turned into a smile as he looked into Rogue's green eyes. "Heya sugah." she said sweetly, her body language nervous. "What's up Rogue?" Logan asked, curious about her mannerisms. "Have you seen Jubilee lately?" Rogue looked around as she nervously. "Nope." Logan said. "Sweet." Rogue said, sighing in relief. "Ah guess Ah'll see yah later." She said quickly, walking off to join a group of friends. Slightly confused, Logan moved over to the elevator and pressed in his code. As the doors swung open, he stepped in and they closed behind him.  
  
Entering the changing rooms, Logan noticed a new sign on the door. Snarling at it, Logan entered his code into the keypad and the locker swung open. Grabbing his leather uniform and slipping it on, the sleeves and groin area felt slightly damp but Logan ignored it. Slamming his locker shut, Logan walked out of the changing room and into the danger room to practise. As the door locked behind him, Jubilee climbed out of the towel basket and went to work.  
  
  
  
Emerging from the danger room a hour later, Logan was dripping with sweat. Walking up to his locker, he opened it and grabbed out his towel. Drying his face, Logan grabbed blindly for his sweat pants. Unable to find them, he pulled the towel away from his face. His locker was empty except for a tiny white piece of paper. Picking up the note, Logan growled as he recognized the handwriting.  
  
HEYA WOLVIE! HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR WORKOUT. SEE YOU L8TA! LUV JUBI!!!  
  
Looking around himself, Logan couldn't see her little asian eyes poking out from anywhere. Crumbling up the note, he slipped off the top part of his leather uniform and dried himself off. Doing one last check around him, Logan tried to pull off the bottom of the uniform. But as he tugged at it, he felt a sharp pain in his groin area. Puzzled at the pain, Logan took a deep breath and pulled hard at the uniform. And burning pain was felt across his groin as pulled the uniform free from his body. Looking down at the inside of the leather uniform, Logan's eyes wided in shock and he looked down. All his little manly hairs were missing from their usual home. "The little B*tch!" he screamed. Jubilee had given him a bikini wax.  
  
Grabbing a nearby towel, Logan wrapped it around his waist and ran to the elevator. His healing abilities kicked in and the pain between his legs soon subsided. As the doors of the elevator opened, Logan was blinded by the flash of a camera. As his vision cleared, Logan found himself staring at the large group of students, all of them laughing and pointing at him. Logan searched through crowd of laughing faces, looking for Jubilee. Unable to stand the laughter any longer, Logan forced the students to clear a way and he stormed abck to his room. Locking the door behind him, Logan pulled on a pair of sweatpants. After carefully checking his room for more pranks, Logan grabbed one of his favourite cigars and sat down beside his window. Pulling out his lighter, Logan put the cigar in his mouth and lit the end. BOOM.  
  
Logan stood stunned as the cigar exploded in his face. Staring at the smoking mess that had been his cigar, Logan let out a loud roar. Pulling on a jersery, Logan reached for the door handle and raced down the hall. 


	4. Logan Strikes Back!

Disclaimer : Not mine blah blah blah! But the conditioner's MINE!!!  
  
  
  
Rogue almost fell off her bed as she heard the loud bangs on the door. Putting down the book she was reading for homework, she walked over to the door as the thuds got louder and louder. Looking through the peephole, her mouth dropped open as she saw Logan, his face red with anger and covered with black ash. Opening the door, she stood back as Logan stepped into the room. Looking around the room for Jubilee, Logan calmed down as he looked down at the bewildered Rogue. "Sorry." he mumbled, turning to leave. "Wait." Rogue said. Grabbing his arm, she gently pulled it until he turned around. "What in hell happen to yah?" she asked, desperately trying not to laugh. "Jubilee." Logan growled. Sitting Logan down on the bed, Rogue grabbed a face cloth from the bathroom and rised it in water. "Here" she said, passing him the cloth. He stared at her blankly. Grabbing her compact from beside her bed, she showed Logan his reflection in the tiny mirror. Growling in anger, Logan wiped his face clean of the black ash. "So where is the little minx?" Logan asked. Rogue smiled. "She went to the mall. She was mumbling something about how hard it is to find a good yellow jacket." Logan laughed in satisfaction.  
  
Down the hall, Jubilee came back from the mall. Unable to find herself another new yellow jacket to replace her ripped one, she had taken out her loss on the professers credit card. Dropping her bags outside the door, she paused as she heard the voices inside. "Marie, I need your help to get back Jubilee." Jubilee froze. Marie? She thought to herself "No way." Rogue's accented voice said. Jubilee sighed with relief. Silently, she picked up her bags and crept over to Bobby's room.  
  
Logan walked back to his room, a frown of concentration across his face. Unable to get Marie's help, he was lost for ideas on how to get Jubilee back. Walking down the hall, Logan walked into his room and sat down on his bed. Rubbing his face, Logan looked down at his hands. Staring at his ash covered hands, Logan looked over at the mirror. His face again was black. Undressing, Logan turned on the shower and stepped inside. Grabbing for some soap to wash his face, Logan felt a bottle. Grabbing the Opque pink bottle off the shelf, Logan opened it and took in its sweet strawberry scent. "Marie must have left it when she borrowed my shower yesterday." Logan thought to himself. Holding the strawberry scented leave in conditioner in his hand, Logan finally thought of revenge fit only for Jubilee.  
  
After drying off and dressing, Logan walked down to the garage. Picking the lock on the door, Logan walked in. Ruffling thorough the various cupboards along the walls. Picking out a tube of flower glue and engine oil, Logan covered them with a old cleaning rag. Snecking back to his room, Logan half- emptyed Marie's shampoo bottle, Logan gently squezed the thick clear glue into the bottle. Added in a little engine oil, Logan shock the bottle, forcing the liquids together. Walking down to the kitchen, Logan ignored those around him as he searched through the drawers for a marker pen. Finding one in the bottom drawer, Logan walked over to the table and sat down to mark the bottle. Pushing a carton of eggs aside, Logan carefully wrote PLEASE DONT USE! on the side knowing Jubilee would ignore it. Finishing the note, Logan looked up at the carton of eggs. Shaking the bottle, Logan felt the thick mixture slowly move up and down. "Decoration" he thought to himself, cracking three whole eggs and stuffing them, shells and all, in the bottle. Shaking the bottle, Logan stood up to go give Jubi her present.  
  
Jubilee stepped out of the shower and wrapped her hair in a towel. Getting ready for her date with the new mutant Steven, Jubilee applied moisturiser and make-up to her bare face. Spotting a bottle of conditioner beside the sink, Jubilee picked it up. Staring at the note on the side, Jubilee shrugged her shoulders and squirted it into her hair. Rubbing the unusually thick conditioner into her hair, Jubilee wrapped herself in a long yellow bath towel and walked out of the bathroom. Slipping on a soft yellow dress, Jubilee grabbed a comb to do her hair.  
  
A blood curling scream filled the halls of the third floor. Running into her room, Rogue almost fell over in shock as she saw Jubilee's hair. With several comb teeth sticking out of a greasy lump of hair at front of her head, Jubilee stood in front of the mirror, her face showed an expression of pure horror. Gently touching her hair, Jubilee found it to be rock hard. Walking out of the room leaving Jubilee to pull the comb teeth out of her hair, Rogue stormed into Logan's room. Pulling the hockey magazine from his hands, Logan sat up from his laying down position on his bed. Marie stared at Logan coldly as he chuckled. "So she found the conditioner?" he said. Marie stare grew angrer. "She didn't deserve that." She said with clenched teeth. "And you will get you come-uppance Logan, I'll make sure of that!" Marie said in a strangely clam voice before she stormed out of his room. "Don't worry!" Logan laughed after her. "It'll wash out in a week!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Do you like? Please review! And if you've got any good ideas for pranks on Logan or Jubilee, please send to wildkatnz@hotmail.com! 


	5. His Weakness

Disclaimer ← see other chapters

Rogue eyed the bean bag as Jubilee dragged it down the flight of stairs. It was six in the morning on a saturday and the mansion was deserted.

"Don't you think we might be going to far with this one Jubi?" she asked.

"Helllllll no!" Jubilee retorted. "My hair has still got chunks of that shit he put through it," she said, pointed to her greasy lumpy hair. "And it has costed me a fortune in hair treatment."

Marie smiled to herself as Jubilee pushed past her, the giant beanbag trailing behind her. Jubilee had waiting over a month, carefully planning and watching Logan, noting down his habits, likes and dislikes, watching to find his Achilles heel.

Rogue's sighed and picked up her own beanbag and slung it over her back and picked up the handbag. Following Jubilee out to the garage, Rogue opened the door and watched as Jubilee face light up in happiness. Walking in the damp room, Rogue flicked on the lights and stared at the covered vehicle that sat in the corner. Both Jubilee and Rogue grabbed at the plastic and pulled it off to reveal brand new black Humvee. Logan had recently brought the Humvee and it had become his pride and joy. Jubilee quickly set to work, dropping the beanbag and began searching through the nearby closets. 

"Rogue! Are you going to help me or what!" She yelled, pulling a large vacum cleaner out of the closet. 

Rogue dropped her bags, walked over and pushing the surprisingly heavy vucum cleaner towards the humvee. Unzipping the beanbag, Jubilee opening the lid of the vacum and poured in the tiny white polysytrene beads inside. Meanwhile, Rogue opened the door of the humvee and wound down the window a few inches. Pulling the long plastic tube up to the window, Jubilee grinning evilly as she taped the tube to the window. Leaning over, Jubilee gently flicked the switch from inhale to exhule and turned it on. The vucum cleaner rumbled to life and the tiny beads began to fly out of the tube into the humvee.

"Mah hahahaha, mo hahaha," Jubilee laughed evilly, arching her back and raised her pinky to her lip. 

Rogue shook her head. Jubilee had finely lost it. Grabbing her by the shoulders, Rogue shook Jubilee until her choked laughter finally stopped.

"We haven't finished yet. Do the evil laughter thingy later?" Rogue said. Jubilee's smile grew wided and she strolled over to the tiny handbag that they had discarded earlier. Pulling out a piar of pink and purple spray-paint cans, Rogue's smile matched Jubilee's as she grabbed the pink can and began to spray.

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Logna woke up at his usual time of eleven o'clock. Having his usual morning shower, Logan slowly made his way downstairs. Grabbing a late breakfast from the kitchen, Logan munched on a piece of toast as he walked over to the garage. He was looking forward to today. Since Jubilee hadn't replied to his "stiff conditioner" he had decided to make peace by taking them all out for a night on the town. But first he needed to clean his 'beauty'.

Opening the Garage door, the strench of paint burned at Logans nose. Wrinkling his nose in disgust Logan mumbled to himself. 

"Dammit Scooter, Open the window if you gunna repaint a car."

Peeling the plastic cover off the Humvee, Logan froze as he noticed the bright pink writing up and down the black paint. 

Pulling back the rest of the plastic sheeting, Logan let out a loud roar. Scott was walking past and when he heard the roar, He broke into a run and run straight into the garage. Slipping on his emergency visor, Scott burst through the door as the sound of breaking wood came from inside. Logan was bent over a broken table, the table broken down the middle, the legs lay across the room. 

"What happened?" Scott asked, looking around for the potencial attacker. 

Logan turned to Scott, his eyebrows joined in a angry scorn. "Nothing. Just having a little fun" he grumbled as he stalked out of the room. Noticing the loose cover over the Humvee, Scott went over and went to adjusted the cover when he noticed the smell of paint. Drawing back the cover, Scott repressed his laughter as he was faced with a bright pink and purple Humvee, the interior filled with tiny polysytrene balls. Across the windscreen, in purple handwriting surrounded by hearts and lips was the message "GOOD LUCK WASHING THIS OFF"

Scott shook his head, laughing silently as he walked out of the garage

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I know its kinda short and not as good as some as the others, but I'm trying to find some better pranks next time!!!


	6. Blue Faces & Brownies

Rogue sat on the windowsill, watching as the snow flakes fall to the ground. Jubilee sat beside her, a black notebook in her hand.

"So he's going away on Tuesday, we could trash his room on Wednesday morning during lunch before he gets back on Thursday. What do you think?"

Rogue nodded her head. Jubilee tapped her on the forehead to get her attention.

"Hello, earth to Rogue. We've got stuff to plan. Logan goes away in two days. This is our window of opportunity."

Rogue stared at Jubilee. _She'd finally lost it_ she thought to herself.

"Whateva, Jubilee." She said. "You plan it and I'll help out.

"Sweet" Jubilee said turning back to her notebook, occasionally mumbling in excitement as she planned her next attack.

Logan watched the snow fall to the ground with a large grin on his face. Wrapped in a thick warm coat, he stepped out. Holding a garden hose in his hand, he strolled over to the tap and turned it on. The cold water streamed from the hose onto the ground as Logan walked over to a large pile over snow on the ground. Brushing most of the snow aside, a mattress was revealed. Logan gave it a sharp kick, the mattress echoed with the thud.

Raising the hose, Logan soaked the material of the mattress until the mattress was saturated. Covering it with snow, Logan chuckled to himself as he walked back inside.

Meanwhile, Jubilee had snuck into the garage again. Logan's Humvee sat in the corner of the large room, the pink writing gone underneath a coat of fresh black paint. Beside it, Logan's bike (previously owned by Scott) stood. Pulling a lump of paper out of her backpack, Jubilee gently unwrapped it to reveal a fish. Wedging the small fish between the petrol tank and the engine, she discarded the paper in the bin. Jubilee smiled with satisfaction as she stood up, and left the garage.

Logan stood outside Jubilee and Rogue's room, his ear to the door. Beside him, a now-frozen mattress leaned against the wall. The halls were empty as everyone was at dinner. A soft 'Snikt' was heard as Logan released a claw into the lock, breaking it. Pushing up the door, Logan walked into the room. Surveying the scene, Logan kicked aside a bright yellow beanbag. Pulling the sheets off Jubilee's bed, Logan discarded them and carried the mattress out into the hall. A chill ran up his arms as he picked up the frozen mattress. Hauling the heavy mattress into the room, Logan carefully remade the bed. Finally he walked over to the bathroom and stared at the rows of colored bottles. Picking up the ones labeled moisturizer, He pulled out a small bottle he had borrowed from Hank earlier that morning. SLIVER NITRATE – SHAKE BEFORE USE the label proclaimed. Gently shaking the tiny bottle, Logan flipped the lids off the moisturizer and dispersed the liquid silver nitrate throughout the bottles. Chuckling to himself and scribbling out a note for Marie, Logan quietly retreated out of the room, taking Jubilee's mattress with him.

Dumping the mattress in an empty broom closet, Logan walked into the kitchen for a quick snack before leaving. Opening the cupboard, he spotted a container with SCOTTS – DON'T TOUCH written across the front. Picked it out, Logan opened it up to find row after row of freshly baked brownies. Stuffing one into his mouth, Logan unzipped his bag and stuffed the container inside. Licking his fingers, Logan savored the chocolate taste in his mouth as he walked out of the kitchen and out in the cold night.

Rogue sat upright as she heard the sound of a motorbike starting up. Racing to the window, she watched as Logan disappeared out of the gates. Disappointed and sad, Rogue retreated back to her room. Flopping down onto her bed, Rogue stared at the ceiling. Jubilee looked up from her magazine.

"What's wrong Chica?" Jubilee asked, dropping her magazine and joining her on Rogue's bed. Taking one look at Rogue face, Jubilee knew.

"He left early huh?"

Rogue nodded sadly. "He didn't even say goodbye."

"Don't worry. Aunt Jubi's got the best remedy for situations like this."

"And what's that?" Rogue asked sarcastically.

"Revenge." Jubilee said simply.

Running down to the Kitchen, Jubilee flung open the cupboard.

"Yes!" She squealed. Rogue appeared at the doorway to the kitchen.

"What's so great?" She asked.

"Logan took it!" Jubilee said excitedly.

"Umm, Hello. Totally clueless over here."

Jubilee turned around, doing her best impression of Dr Evil. "He took the brownies, Mohahahah, mohahahaha."

Rogue was staring to get pissed off. "What's up with the brownies"

Jubilee smiled. "Oh nothing," She said, putting on her 'I'm so innocent' voice. "There's just enough crystallized caffeine and Laxatives to keep Wolvieboy jumping off and on the toilet for the next 12 hours.

A smile slowly crept across Rogues face until she finally burst out laughing.

"Nice work Jubi, you've finally out-done yourself!" She giggled.

Jubilees took a dramatic bow, linked arms with Rogue and lead her out of the kitchen.

Almost 50 miles from Xavier's School of The Gifted, Logan felt a usual stirring in his stomach. Pulling over beside a restroom where a family was having lunch, Logan felt confused by the feeling in his stomach. _Must be hunger _He thought to himself. Opening up his pack, he opened the plastic container and shoved another chocolate brownie into his mouth. Suddenly, he felt an overwhelming need to relieve himself. Racing into the public bathroom, he pushed past a little kid and into a stall. Pulling down his leather pants, he sat down on the seat. Sound effects from his stall filled the tiny restroom, followed by an incredible smell. The small boy caught a wisp of the smell and ran out of the restroom crying. Logan blushed as he overheard the young boy screaming to his mother.

"Mommy, Mommy, It smells so bad………" he wailed.

"Come on dear," The mother said as she packed up their lunch and gathered her family into the car. Logan growled as the car wheels squealed and sped off. Clutching his painfully empty stomach, Logan pulled up his pants and walked out of the bathroom. Breathing in the sweet fresh air with relief, Logan looked at the discarded backpack. The container of brownies had tumbled out and were scattered across the ground.

"Jubilee!" he growled to himself.

Doing up his pants, Logan picked up his backpack and suddenly felt the urge to run. He grabbed the bike and began to run, pushing it ahead of himself as he took off down the dusty road.

Back at the mansion, Jubilee and Rogue were walking down the hallway to their bedroom, giggling and laughing among themselves. Opening up the door, they stepped inside. Rogue sat down on her bed as Jubilee picked up a pillow and hit her on the stomach with it.

"What the hell was that for!" Rogue yelled, her voice a mixture of anger and laughter.

Jubilee shrugged playfully and took another swing at Rogue. Rogue ducked, picked up her pillow and hit Jubilee on the face. Dropping her pillow, Jubilee quickly looked around the room, spotting a pillow on her bed. Ducking a pillow swung by Rogue, she quickly made a run for the bed, jumping onto it.

Her small body hit the frozen mattress with a loud thud, winding her. Still moving forward, she slid into the wall, hitting her head against the pale blue paint. Struggling for breath, she slid backwards and fell off the bed. Rogue collapsed into a fit of laughter as Jubilee rolled across the ground. Stumbling over to her best friend, Rogue picked Jubilee off the ground. Jubilee stood leaning against Rogue, breathing deeply. As she finally began to recover, she began to rub her head, hoping to sooth the pain.

"Are yah hurt? Do yah need anythin'?" Rogue asked, trying to stop laughing.

"Yeah Rogue, my ass is sore. You wanna kiss it better?" Jubilee said sarcastically.

Hobbling over to Rogues bed, Jubilee sat down. "What the hell did **he** do to my bed?"

Rogue lifted the damp sheets and knocked on the stiff mattress. "It's frozen solid." Rogue smiled at Jubilee. "He got yah good this time."

"Oh, Shut up!" Jubilee said angrily, still rubbing her sore head.

"Okay, okay." Rogue said defensively, holding up her hands. Walking into the bathroom, she ran a towel under the cold water tap. Soaking it, she let the water drip onto the floor as she applied the coolness to Jubilee's head.

"Thanks" Jubilee muttered. Rogue wandered back into the bathroom and looked at the rows of bottles.

"Hey Jubi?" She called out.

"What?"

"Yah wanna do facials tonight?" She asked, picking up a bottle.

Jubilee tipped her head, thinking. "Yeah, sure. It's been a while since we've done stuff like that and I think I need it." She said, indicating the bruise which was appearing on the top of her forehead and disappeared into her hairline.

"Sweet." Rogue said, picking up various bottles and placing them in a large glass bowl.

Walking over to the bed, she tipped the bottles onto the floor and picked up the moisturizer. Flipping off the lid, she tipped the contents into the bowl.

"First, ta moisturise." She then picked up a packet of facial mad mask. "For cleansing." Finally she picked up the bottles of Aloe Vera. "And so we don't smell like shit afterwards." She giggled, pouring all the contents of the bottles into the bowl. Dipping her hand in, she mixed it gently with her hand.

Rogue and Jubilee lay on the floor as they read through the piles of magazine, supplied by Jubilee.

"Hey, look at this." Rogue elbowed Jubilee and pointed to the glossy page in front of her.

"Older guys : Pros and Cons." Jubilee read the bright pink heading and rolled her eyes. "You're kidding me, right?"

Rogue blushed. "Its just something ta think about." She smiled. Glancing at her watch, Rogue pushed herself off the ground. "Come on, we gotta wash this stuff off."

Jubilee waved her hand, deeply engrossed in an article. Rogue hummed as she walked into the bathroom. Running the warm water, she splashed her face, gently rubbed off the quickly mixture. Drying off her face with a towel, she noticed a slight blue tint to her hands. Looking up at the mirror, her mouth opened in horror as she saw the blue face staring back.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" Jubilee jumping at the sound of Rogue's high pitched scream.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked, walking into the bathroom. "What the……" she stopped in middle sentence as she looked at the blue-faced Rogue. Rogue's face was wet with tears, her hands clutching a white bottle.

"I found this on the floor" she sobbed. Jubilee bent over and looked at the bottle. Silver Nitrate. Picking the bottle out of Rogue's hands, she read the bottle. CONTACT WITH SKIN CAN CAUSE TEMPORY DISCOLOURATION. Jubilee dropped the bottle in shock and rushed over to the basin.

Logan was still running down the long dusty road. His sides ached and he cursed to himself with every step he took. Spotting a phone booth, he dumped the bike beside the room and jogged towards the booth. Slamming the glass door behind him, Logan picked up the receiver and dialed the mansion.

"Xavier's School for the Gifted, Jean speaking."

"Connect me to Jubilee's extension." He growled.

"Logan?" Jean's voice sounded confused.

"Just fking do it!" Logan demanded, not willed to answer questions. After a short angry mumble from Jean, the phone in Jubilee's room began to ring.

"Hello?" a sweet southern accent tainted the voice on the other end of the line.

"I wanna speak to Jubilee." Logan growled.

"Logan is that you?"

"Is that Logan?" Logan heard Jubilee call out in the background. After a shuffling sound, an enraged Jubilee spoke into the phone.

"You Asshole!" She screamed into the phone. "Do you know how long it takes Silver nitrate to wash off skin?"

Logan's mood changed to happiness as he heard her pained voice through the ear piece.

"Yeah," he said happily. "Hanks said about 5 to 8 days."

Jubilee moaned and repeated the diagnosis to Rogue. More shuffling sounds were heard as Rogue grabbed the phone off Jubilee.

"You asshole, I'm going suck you dry as………" She screamed before she was cut off by Logan.

"I gotta go darling, but tell Jubilee that her brownies were great and I enjoyed every single one of them."

Rogue screamed in frustration as Logan put down the phone. He only had enough time to smile to himself before his bowels reacted, sending him running for a nearby group of bushes.


	7. Charlie's angels ain't got shit on me!

A/N: Okay just it cause I've confused anyone, I've slightly changed the story/mansion. I wrote earlier on that Jubilee and Rogue have a bathroom in their room. This is because of Rogue skin. The rest of the students use a shared bathroom. All adults have bathrooms on their own. Hopefully, that'll stop anyone from being confused. 

Logan stumbled into the main foyer and dumped his gear on the ground. The corridors of the usually busy mansion were silent as he stormed up the stairs towards his bedroom. Logan sighed with relief as he spotted the door to his bedroom. Logan was looking forward to lying down and just sleeping forever. His trip through Canada had been a waste of time and he had succeed only in finding more ruins, none of which related back to him. Logan pressed in his code into the keypad and waited for the familiar tone that admitted entry. Instead come a loud buzz. 

"Incorrect code, Entry Denied." The keypad flashed the message. 

Logan looked down at the small machine in annoyance. He re-entered his code, pressing the keys hard to make sure they were imprinted properly. Again the little machine began to buzz. 

"Incorrect code, Entry Denied." 

Stuff this, Logan thought to himself. Releasing one of his Adamantium claws, Logan silenced the buzz sound by slicing the keypad in half. Logan twisted the doorknob and pushed open the door. 

"It's good to be home." Logan said quietly to himself before dropping his gear and closing the door.

The sound of the bell filled the air announcing yet another week of school was over for the students of Xavier's school for the Gifted. Jubilee jumped out of her seat and raced to the door, ignoring Jean's protests. Jubilee slammed up against the door as it refused to open for her.

"As I was saying," Jean said slowly, as she gave Jubilee an evil glare. "Homework is page 856 and 857 in your textbooks. Dismissed." 

Jubilee pulled on the door as Jean released her hold on it. Walking down the corridor, she met Rogue as she came out of the glasshouse after history with Ororo. Chatting about their day, the pair made their way up towards their room. Just as Rogue was about to explain how Bobby 'accidentally' froze the chalk, Jubilee stopped dead in her tracks.

"And so Ororo was like......... Jubes?" Rogue looked back at Jubilee as she stood, a crazy grin plastered to her face.

"He's backkkk." She said, her voice squeaky with excitement.

Rogue looked in the same direction that Jubilee was and spotted the broken keypad, cleanly cut in half. Oh shit, she thought to herself, here we go again.

Jubilee grabbed Rogue's arm, pulling her towards their room. 

As the stoke of midnight chiming from the Mansion's grandfather clock, a figure stepped out of her room on the second floor. Jubilee was dressed in one of Rogue's thin black t-shirt and sweatpants, completed with a pair of black leather gloves and yellow camouflage paint on her cheeks. On her back, a bright blue Winne the Pooh bag sat, hiding her next ingredient for a perfect pranks. Flattening herself against the wall, she slowly moving down the dark and empty corridor. 

"Charlie's angels ain't got nothing of me." She said as she approached her target's room.

Logan's loud snoring filled the empty corridor as she opened the door. Stepping inside, she quickly closed the door behind her and eyed the sleeping figure in the bed. She snuck towards the sleeping Logan, carefully testing the wooden floor for creaks before stepping. 

Eventually, she made it to the bed and leant over Logan. A thin white sheet covered his semi naked body, a pair of silk green boxers with yellow duck hiding his naught bits. A large bottle of Jim Beam sat on his bedside table, right beside a alarm clock. Jubilee pulled off her backpack and carefully unzipped it. Pulling out a disposable camera, she took a few pictures of the offending boxers before turning to the task at hand.

Retrieving a red container from the bag, she unscrewed the lid, pouring a dull yellow powder over the sheets surrounding the sleeping Logan. Dipping her hand inside, she pulled out a handful and sprinkled it over his hairy chest. Jubilee froze as Logan nose twitched, sniffing the air. Ducking down, Jubilee listened as Logan sneezed. 

Waiting until she was sure he was still asleep, Jubilee jumped up, a permanent marker in hand. An evil smile spread across her face as permanent marker met skin and she began to write.

As soon as she was finished, she carefully walked across to the bathroom. Pulling out the final instrument from her blue bag, she jumped into the shower, carefully holding up the huge spanner she had 'borrowed' from Scott's tools in her hand. Carefully removing the water knob, she hung a small sign on the remainder on the knob.

Jubilee crept back over to Logan bedside and drew a lip-shaped mark on his forehead with her best pink lipstick. Waving goodbye to Logan, she crept over to the door and left.

Logan opened his eyes and rolled over to look at the clock beside his bed. 11.56am. Maybe I should get up, he thought to himself as he pushed his one sheet off himself. The sheet fell to the floor, a cloud of yellow dust following it. Logan sniffed at the mysterious powder and found himself in sneezing convulsions as his nose attempted to get rid of the horrible smell of sour milk. It's milk powder, Logan thought to himself.

Logan ran in to the shower, desperately to get away from the smell. Stripping off his pair of boxers and climbed into the shower. He pulled the curtain shut and grabbed at the knob to turn on the water. Instead, a small sign hung from the piece of pipe that protruded from the tiling.

Please feel welcome to use the male students shower room. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Logan growled at the sign. Walking out into the smelly bedroom, Logan pulled on a pair of his oldest jeans and a ripped sweatshirt, grabbed a towel and soap and headed down the corridor.

"Jubilee! This is by far the worse thing you have ever asked me to do." Rogue whispered to Jubilee.

"Shhhh." Jubilee replied as she stared out the small crack in the door opening. "They might hear you."

Rogue frowned and leant back onto the back of the broom closet. Jubilee had dragged her into the boy's locker room closet a little after 6 o'clock in the morning with promises of revenge and hilarious results. All she had seen so far was a crack of light shining from the practically open door for the last 6 hours.

"Yes, yes, yes." Jubilee chanted to herself.

"What?" Rogue asked, curious at Jubilee's sudden chanting.

"Bobby's towel is about to fall down." Jubilee giggled as Rogue pushed her aside and peered out the door. Just as the towel was about to fall, a rough voice filled the shower room. 

"Hey guys." Logan grunted as he entered the bathroom.

"Oh Hi Logan." Bobby greeted him, quickly pulling up his towel and leaving, followed by the remaining boys in the locker room.

Rogue suppressed a giggle as Logan disguarded his Sweatshirt and walked into the shower cubicle. A splash of falling water began and a slightly wet pair of jean's came flying out of the cubicle.

Rogue felt herself blushing as she stared at the jean's. Jubilee, sick of waiting, carefully pushed open the door and stepped out. Still dressed in her all black outfit, she crept over and grabbed the Jeans and Sweatshirt, plus all the extra towel, with the exception of a small facial towel. 

Doing a quick 'happy dance' _(A/N: This involves shaking ur ass and point ur hands in the air in triumph, ask my best mate, I do it all the time), Jubilee went back to her serious self. Motioning for her partner in crime to follow, she crept out of the bathroom, followed by the giggling Rogue. _

Logan stood in the shower, unaware of the thieving of his clothing. Concentrating on removing the disgusting smell from his skin, he scrubbed at his arms with his fingernails, which seemed to have attracted most of the yellow powder. The horrible smell increased as more water dripped from his body. 

"Fu*king Powder." Logan mumbled as he stole a scrubbing brush from the shower next door. He rubbed his arms until they were bright red. Accidentally getting some of the soap in his eyes, he quickly washed the rest of his body, desperately to get away for the smell of the sour milk powder. 

After washing every inches of his body and still not removing the smell, Logan gave up on scrubing. Logan stepped out of the shower and wiped the soap from his eyes with a small towel. Strutting over to the bench, he reached down for his clothes. Logan felt a sting of shock run through his body as he grasped at empty air. He quickly dropped to his knees and desperately searched underneath the bench.

"Shit!" He swore when he realized that the room was empty of all clothing and towels. Except for the one in his hand. Logan lifted the tiny towel up to eye level. The towel was barely bigger than his hand. It would barely cover, but it will do. Sighing in resignation, Logan placed it over his groin. Looking down, Logan noticed black letters across his stomach. Reading them aloud, Logan swore colorful as he read the carefully calligraphy words. 

_Jean was here!_ With a big arrow pointing downwards. Was I that drunk last night? He thought to himself. Weighting up his options, Logan decided that even if it was just a joke, It would still piss off Scott. 

Straightening up his shoulders, Logan stepped into the halls and began the short walk back to his room. Passing a group of students, he snarled at them as they giggled at the message across his stomach. Logan kept walking, but when a loud laughter was heard behind him, he spun around.

"What you looking at." He snarled at the students, most in which were in convulsions of laughter. 

Bravely, a young student by the name of Remy stood forward as he gasped for breath.

"We didn't realize dat da Wolverine swung dat way." He laughed.

Logan stared in confusion at the French accented student. Looking at the crowd that had gathered around him, Logan held up his free hand and release his claws. The students ran, each one of them knowing that Logan is very temperamental and will hurt you. Logan tunred around in the clear halls and started back towards his room. 

After encountering plenty of laughing students, Logan kicked open his door and went inside. On his bed were his clothes, neatly folded. Beside them, Logan recognized the writing on a certain yellow minx on a piece of paper. Logan picked it up, scanned what it said.

_Hey Logan, I suggest you check out your ass!_

Once again confused, Logan walked up to the mirror and turned around. Above his bum in perfect handwriting with an arrow pointing down, was a message.

_Scott was here _

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Did you like it? I know it took a while for me to update but I think it was worth it. Do you? 

Please review!!!!!

_P.S This is the prank with the powder. If you sprinkled finely ground powdered milk underneath ur victim's sheets. It acts like powdered sugar in the sense that, as you sweat in your sleep, it dissolves and comes up through the sheets onto your body and into your pores. But your sweat makes it sour, and when it gets into your pores, it stays there. You smell very strongly of sour milk for about a week (4 days if you shower and sauna every day)._


End file.
